From the Heart

I have learned that when we do things from the proverbial heart, we live a happier existence. What I mean is that we have to stop giving only to receive satisfaction when the act is reciprocated and start finding satisfaction in the act of giving. If you are unable to obtain satisfaction from the initial act, then you probably should not be engaging in that act. For example, in a romantic relationship, we often do things that we don't want to do to make our lover happy so he/she will in turn do the things we want him/her to do so that we will be happy. The problem occurs when he/she fails to react the way we would like for him/her to react. At this moment, we are angry, hurt, and often vengeful; we can't "wait for that [explicative] to ask me to________!"

Unfortunately, this posture leaves both parties worse off. If you were to find satisfaction in the initial act, you would not be expecting anything in return. This line of thinking is not just for romantic relationships, but for all relationships. I remember watching my father become enraged when an associate of his refused or failed to return a favor. Even as a child, I could see the insanity in his position. I remember asking him why he would help someone that would not help him when he needs it? He looked and said something to the effect of him physically hurting the man.

For years those instances stuck with me and I truly believed that my father's reactions were the proper way to react in those situations. After an attempt at marriage and the loss of countless friends, I finally realized that I am free to choose who I want to help and when. I learned that the act of helping is more rewarding than what we can receive in return. Since this epiphany, I have truly lived a happier existence. I call this philosophy Choosing You. I implore you to Choose You, you'll make the world a better place... be sure not to be selfish!